Estate Sale

Janet is doing very well now. She had the first of the final 12 chemo treatments last Wed. the 26th. (Dave is well also.)

We have been busy with our usual busy lives and getting ready for the Estate Sale at my mother's apartment for weeks and then we had the sale Fri, Sat and today, Sunday. Today is the last day and I have a moment to post to the websites.

Not much more to report. All of the trying to understand, and usually correct errors in, the Insurance company bills, is continuing, but the chemo treatments are all the same, so, we hope that soon we will have the bugs out of that and they will not need so much time.

Cheers,

Dave & Janet

Janet is home from the hospital!

You may wonder if this is an old email or what is going on.

Well, briefly, Sunday, Jan 9, Janet had a stomach ache after eating. This has been common since surgery, but this one was worse and kept her from sleeping.

The ever-perceptive Dave slept soundly until 2AM before asking if she was OK. From 2AM on there were many phone calls to the '24 hr nurse line' from her health insurance company.

Somehow we thought that meant that we could talk with a nurse any time, night or day. However, the typically 60 minute waits for them to return my call made us repeatedly wonder if the '24 hour' part referred to how soon they would call back. Americans are familiar with the now shortened message when they call an important phone number and need urgent tech support, etc.

It used to say, "Your call is very important to us, so we went to Walmart and bought this cheap answering machine so we don't need to be bothered." But, that did not seem to go over well, so they shortened it to, "Your call is very important to us. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed."

But back to Janet, her oncologist, who we called at 6AM saw her at 10AM and said no worries. You may have a Small Bowel Obstruction. (That is an obstruction of the Small Bowel, not a Small Obstruction of the Bowel.) Just wait and it will usually go away.

Does this remind you of the song about "put the lime in the coconut" where she wakes up her doctor and he tells her, "Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the mo-o-ornin' "?
http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/coconut.htm

Anyway, she was to keep suffering and not worry unless she vomited or got a fever.

We went home and she was able to sleep at times, but about 6PM she flew out of bed and ran to the porcelain throne with projectile vomiting. Next stop the Emergency Room.

This makes about 6 or 8 times since Sept that Dave has been there with Jessie or Janet. Have you ever heard the term "Munchhausen by proxy"? They don't seem to have heard it at this ER. We are now on first name basis with the staff.

They did various things and put a tube down her nose and pumped her stomach to relieve the pressure, and reduce the struggle to the bowel. That was something that she won't soon forget. And the tube stayed there, in her nose until Thursday. Not fun. At about 5AM on Tue, they admitted Janet to the hospital.

We both were pretty tired and Dave went home and got some much needed sleep. 3 hours in 48 is no fun.

But, the Happy Ending is, Janet came home about 1030PM Thursday and we slept in to 830AM Fri. A record for us in recent months. The photo is when Janet had just had the stomach tube removed Thursday morning and was told that she could order 'full liquids'. Yummy things like cream of wheat, and grits, cream soups, etc. A big improvement over 'nothing by mouth' and later 'clear liquids' like apple juice.

At 11AM Friday, she still feels wonderful and is gently eating 'normal food'.

Sad news about Jessie

I have some very sad news about my mom, Jessie Heath. At 530 this morning, Tuesday, January 04, 2011, we got the call from the Hospice nurse that Jessie had passed away.

 

We are very sorry that she is not still among us as the Jessie that we knew and love, but her last month has not been very good and Janet and I think that she is much happier now. We will be dealing with things today and for some time to come.

 

Per Jessie's wishes, there will not be a funeral or memorial service. She wanted to be cremated and her ashes sprinkled in several of her favorite places in Texas and the Pacific Northwest. This does not preclude her friends from remembering her. Do what YOU think best. You know you better than anyone.

 

Please no flowers at all. Our only request is that whenever you think of her, that you thank her for all of the great times that you had together and see her on her best day, because that is what Janet and Dave do. This should make you smile, not sad.

 

If you are compelled to make an offering, some places that she really wanted to help, and has helped, are:

 

Manna Thrift Store

1806 W 43rd Street

Houston, TX 77018-3006

 

Phone:     (713) 686-6440

 

and any place or person that helps animals, such as CAP in west Houston:

 

http://www.cap4pets.org/support-us

 

and the cat sanctuary that Jessie visited with us in Rome:

 

http://www.romancats.com/index_eng.php

 

There are people helping, and needing help, all over the world. Generally, if you are watching for such things, you will learn where they are near you.

 

But, again, we are not asking that you donate to any one or anything. Jessie's wish, and ours it that the most important thing is that people be loving, caring and kind to each other and to the critters that surround us. Hugs, kind words and courtesy to everyone, including a little petting to our non-human friends are the most valuable offerings. Actually, many humans like and deserve a little petting once in a while, too. But, use good judgment in the workplace.

 

Don't you wonder about those that seem to just toss coins in a pot and, feeling good about how noble they are, continue to be, shall we say, 'less than caring' to everyone and everything.

 

Isn't it better that everyone work on trying to be a great 'Citizen of the Planet Earth'. This is not 'an obligation' or a sacrifice. Please do like you always do, being the best you can with every breath because you ENJOY it! That does the most good and, since it is fun, you will do it more often.

 

In the Emergency Room that Jessie visited many times this Fall, there is a sign that says:

 

"How other people treat you is their Karma. How you respond to it is yours"

 

Obvious, but too often forgotten. Gently remind them. That is the best gift.

 

Janet and Dave are very well and will write more later. This will be another busy day.

Jessie’s New Year’s Eve

We are sorry to say that Jessie's 'up and downs' continue to have a generally downward trend. To us, the very worst part of the last month is how many times, and for how many hours, they have let Jessie be in pain. For various 'reasons' and excuses and screw ups. I could write a really vicious and long, itemized and documented piece about how I feel about that, but I am trying to be upbeat and encourage prayers and positive thoughts, so I will not do that right now.

If some of you don't know us very well, you may get the wrong idea about how I (Dave) feel about this whole thing.

I do not want my mother to die. I thought that she had several more enjoyable years left. We are all going to die. I am old enough to have had many friends and relatives die in the last few years. There are different opinions on this, but mine is that it is an essential part of life. Getting mad or irrational about it only hurts you. Like getting mad that Thursday ends, or 2010 ends. Happy New Year, by the way.

Janet and I feel strongly that we should try very hard to NOT dwell on the loss of a loved one. But, rather remember all the wonderful moments that they caused in our lives or that we shared with them. They gave us so many nice memories, and in the case of a parent, life itself. They would want us to always be happy, not sad when we think of them. We have been truly blessed to have known them. It is like the question, "Is the glass half empty or half full." This glass is very full and we have been literally blessed.

Janet & I also, are certain that Death is not actually 'the end' of everything, just some things. We love the poem "A PARABLE OF IMMORTALITY" by Henry Van Dyke, Born 1852, Died 1933. He was a 19th Century clergyman, educator, poet, religious writer, and United States Minister to the Netherlands.

It is easily found on the web. Try this link:
http://storiesforspeakers.blogspot.com/2008/10/parable-of-immortality-by-henry-van.html

We can usually choose many things about how we live our lives and I thought that I could be an advocate for my mom while she was in the hospital. I did all that I could and will continue to. It is frightening to think what would have happened if I had NOT been there. Don't get me started on "the Greatest Healthcare System in the World." A nice knee jerk reaction that some of our friends have, but blindly rooting for the Home Team is a bad idea in this case.

This is getting too long. Most of you are well aware that 'Dave doesn't know any short stories.'

With the approval of every doctor involved, we put Jessie into Hospice. The hope is that she will finally have adequate pain management. We are not killing her. Some surprisingly large percentage of people recover while in Hospice. I believe that while we cannot choose when we will die, we can sometimes choose what percentage of Nightmare is involved.

This is completely in keeping with many long, thoughtful discussions with Jessie, Janet & Dave when my father, John Heath died in 2003 and other times. It is also expressed in various legal documents that Jessie had drawn up years ago. I suggest that you learn what your state or Country allows and get your views in writing before it is too late.

Janet is still doing great and Dave is too, except for the frustration.

We will continue to update as things happen. Thanks again for your prayers and wonderful wishes every time you think of us.